Not that I deserve to have anyone out there, when I only manage to post once a month....but in an effort to rustle up some positive inertia to help me get blogging again, I wanted to share something that made me laugh last night.
*Disclaimer: Allegedly this is from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. I haven’t been able to confirm it, which makes me think it might not be true…but I still laughed out loud.
Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
She said it was midwinter....Snowing and quite cold... and her date had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah for the day...
They were complete strangers, and had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were in the middle of nowhere, about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or she would lose it in the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, being a real gentleman and not peeking. The feeling of relief she felt overwhelmed even the obviously embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about “what is taking so long” with a reply that indeed, she was “freezing her butt off” and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She got the giggles too and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
After every play the guys were completely covered in snow. Rob would hit the ground and come up with snow sticking to his little goatee, turning it totally white. Cute...like a young, skinny Santa...
After every play the guys were completely covered in snow. Rob would hit the ground and come up with snow sticking to his little goatee, turning it totally white. Cute...like a young, skinny Santa...
